Glamour Girl Now

Well, where have we been? Taking long vacations in China, training and raising money for charity, visiting each other, applying to grad schools, celebrating birthdays and running fashion week. Basically, we have been busy.  Sprinkling dates in here and there.

Ms. Green has entered into the relationship realm.  I met him, and they are adorable together.  After 15 dates she has put up her hat, deleted her profile, and snuggled next to him during the football games.  She put in a good hard effort into the dating arena and came out on top.

Ms. Red may not have a lot of posts but she has been dating.  We are just waiting for her stories.  She raised thousands of dollars for charity, bought a new condo, and even traveled around Mexico.

Ms. Gold got caught up with her local fashion week and once it was finished had a difficult time concentrating on anything else.  She also has been traveling around the US for the last month, and squeezed in another date.  Oh yeah it looks like she will be moving to Boston, MA soon for grad school where she will continue her dating adventure.

Ms. Purple has been a busy bee.  She has continued her dating adventures, traveled to NYC and Boston with Ms. Gold, and was in charge of Thanksgiving dinner.  Ms. Purple s determined to continue dating until she reaches the magical number of 15.  Can she do it?

He seemed nice online, harmless, actually. He liked unique food,such as Sengalese food, and that’s always a bonus with me. Having learned my lesson from the last date, I didn’t look up anything on this guy. I wanted to be genuinely surprised if he told me he was in a marching band in high school, which I found later he was.

We agreed to meet at this Ethiopian restaurant outside of Little Ethiopia. I’m always slightly nervous on first dates and it was good to see the feeling was mutual. We chatted and had pleasant conversation. There were some great things about him: he had pretty eyes, we could talk at length about art and animation, and we even had a jalapeno-eating contest at the end of the night. I had a really good time. Eventually though, the thing about nice guys is that…they are just nice guys. In my opinion, nice guys tend to be…agreeable, docile, and completely lackluster.

I’ve read forums and websites about how guys hate being labeled the nice guy. And don’t get me wrong– I’m not the type to complain if a guy pulls out a chair or holds open a door (I definitely remember when they do or don’t). It’s just that I sometimes feel that guys don’t want to be labeled a douche on the first date by speaking their mind even when it contradicts that of the object of their affection, so they hold things in to appear gentlemanly. In my experience, gentlemen can speak their mind and disagree respectfully; douches cannot.

The fact that I’m digressing over this rather than divulging every date detail sort of speaks volumes. I don’t like to argue, but I love engaging conversation. At the end of the date I thought our date went fairly well, but there wasn’t much lively chatter. Is it wrong for me to expect that on a first date? A friend mine told me that she went on four dates with her now husband before she discovered that he was someone she really liked. I went out with my Mr. Nice Guy one more time and realized he was sweet and considerate, but would make someone else much happier than me. All in all, I am happy I had a nice time.

Mr. Nice Guy and I bonded over football–we both went to the same university and we both have season seats to the games. I’ve been ranting to my friends that it’s been so hard to find a guy that’s into the game as much as I am. It felt great to finally meet someone who shared that particular interest! We emailed a bit and talked on the phone prior to our first date.

We met at a tapas restaurant in the city for drinks. First impression, he had gorgeous, golden brown eyes and a great smile. One drink turned into three and we also ordered dinner. I had to dub him Mr. Nice Guy because he just seemed so well-rounded. He has a good job,  good friends, likes to be social and hang out with people, and he just seemed like a nice person. There’s nothing wrong with nice! He picked up the tab for our date and I offered to give him a lift home as he didn’t have his car. He politely refused, saying that it was out of my way, but I insisted since I’m originally from L.A. and I don’t care much for public transportation. I dropped him off and leaned in for a hug.

He texted me to make plans for a second date the following week. We met up on my side of the bay to catch one of the hockey playoff games. We had more drinks and dinner and enjoyed watching the game together. It felt just as easy and comfortable as the first date. He walked me to my car and then joked about me giving him a lift to his car. I thought it was cute, so I gave him a lift to his car a few blocks away. I pulled up next to his car and this time he leaned in and gave me a very sweet and soft kiss. I threw my car into park but we didn’t kiss too long because I was worried about getting hit from behind. We were on a busy street!

We made plans for a third date the following week, but work got in the way. We decided to postpone it until I got back into town (I was going to be gone for 10 days for work). We texted while I was out of town about what we were up to, comments on the hockey and basketball finals, etc. I called him the day after I got back into town and never heard from him again. I guess he just wasn’t that into me, but that one was hard to swallow. I definitely was interested in getting to know him better and I was disappointed that it ended like that.

The doctor was my first date using match.com. We had lunch at the Farmer’s Market and it was pleasant: nice getting-to-know-you conversation, mainly about food. He was coming from a science background, and mine was in the arts, so our gastronomic exploits were all that we had in common. We got some ice cream and chatted more in front of the A&F store, where he chivalrously gave me the chair that had the view of the live topless male model with an 8-pack nonchalantly leaning against the doorway for $8 an hour. We talked about his life as a doctor, and the craziness I deal with in the non-profit art world, then I had to leave because of work (and no, it was not a made-up excuse).

As a person I thought he was very nice. Mild-mannered. Vanilla. Not dull exactly, but he was holding back on his personality. I tried to get some good stories out of him- what was the craziest thing you saw when you opened up your patient? Do you practice on animal parts before operating on humans? I got textbook answers, literally. Were there sparks? Possibly– I’m not really sure. I did like him; there was something attractive about him. But all I know is, if we were to be a couple, I would be the fun one. I would definitely go out with him as a food buddy and see what happens, but I’m not sure if that’s what he is looking for. Honestly, if you’re willing to pay to meet people online, I don’t think you’d want to settle for just friends.

I know some people might think it would be great to nab a doctor for a boyfriend, but after also having listened to Green’s experience with a doctor[hyperlink to green date #?], I’ve come to realize something about dating men in this profession: you have to be okay with their work coming first. Doctors work incredibly long hours and being on call during weekends means you can’t be more than 10 miles away from the hospital should an emergency arise. Of course this can’t be said for all doctors, but it was true for this one. My date told me he only gets sushi on the West side as opposed to Little Tokyo/downtown because it’s closer to his work. Some doctors also have to work on weekends too, so if you’re clingy, I’d consider getting a goldendoodle before hooking up with a doc. But I love the fact that doctors help people. It’s a tough call; I think I need to date more doctors before I can form a real opinion. Come to think of it, Red also dated a doctor. We’ll have to get more insight when she shares her story.

I winked at him online and he emailed me the next day suggesting a walk around the lake where we live and drinks at my local dive bar. Two of my favorite things. When he first walked up, I was instantly attracted to him. His online pictures did not do him justice and his killer smile warmed my heart. He was easy to talk to and the conversation flowed easily as we took the hour walk around the lake. His good impression increased as we discussed his passion for music, sports, his family, and his job. I felt giddy during our entire date and was so excited and impressed by him. He walked me home, gave me a hug, and said I would be hearing from him soon.

He texted me the next day and casually invited me out that night to the city. I already had plans, but we decided to meet up on the weekend. He called me later to arrange that date. He picked me up on Saturday night and we drove to the restaurant. On our way, it had rained slightly and the sun was just going down. Two full rainbows appeared in the sky, and I can’t help but think that it was a good omen. We had dinner in a casual spot and then went to a pinball lounge that had vintage and new pinball machines. It was awesome and so much fun! The lounge was for all ages and didn’t have a bar, but he came prepared with a six-pack that we drank in his car. This was my type of guy!

Our first kiss was on our third date - another walk around the lake and another one of my local bars - it was sweet and left me wanting more. I have been seeing him nonstop for the past several weeks and I don’t want to date anyone else. I am so happy to spend time with him and I count the hours until I see him next. I’m walking around all day with a cheesy grin on my face and I can’t stop thinking about him. This is what it’s all about.

We’ve decided to date exclusively and we have both taken down our online profiles. I am absolutely crazy about him and hopeful of what the future holds for us. I set a goal of 30 first dates, but this constant over-achiever is going to fail to reach that goal. Mr. Right came in at #15 and has blown me away.

The holiday season is upon us, yet again.  We spend most of the year purchasing gifts, presents, and necessities on a weekly basis, but the holidays allow us to purchase the big ticket items we have been talking about all year long.  Below is a list of basic items for the lovers of the concrete jungle. (The condo is a long shot, but I know what I want and I know what I need to save up for.)

Enjoy

1. Work, blogging, purchasing, monitoring, creating: MacBook Pro 13 in.

 2. Record, jam out, upload, download, work out Ipod Nano w/ video (pink or gold)                                                                                                                                                                            

  3. Walking, jumping,  running, jeans, leggings, tights, knee high boots Bandolino Cognac Brown

  4. Sexy, smooth, confident Victor & Rolf Flowerbomb  

 5. Living, fireplace, bay windows, view, 3 bedroom condo Back Bay Boston, MA

Today for UpDate Wednesday we have our first guest blogger, KB from KB in NYC.  She is documenting her dating adventures and has written a summary of what she has learned so far in the online dating world.  I agree with her analysis 100%.  I have even made some changes to my profile to improve the quality of men that respond to me.

make sure to check out her blog KB in NYC.

Online Dating 101: What I do Know

Some of you may or may not have heard about the dude who is suing Match.Com for sending ‘emails into thin air’ and apparently suffering “humiliation and disappointment” as a result. This story really is precious.

Although the general consensus seems to be that this guy is a loser, that’s not to say that he doesn’t have a point. For one thing, a lot of these dating sites are full of BS and yes, you are sending emails out into an abyss of dating nothingness. I think there is a lot of evidence to suggest this. But I don’t want to get into that here. No, I want to focus on the ‘humiliation and disappointment’ part because people I have lived it. Like hello, I’m fabulous and I’m still not getting asked out online. What’s wrong with you men?

According to dating expert extraordinaire Simone Grant, “It’s NOT you honey, it’s your profile”. Umm, okay. That doesn’t make up for the last year where I hotlisted, winked and emailed anybody vaguely man-like and, more often than not, got no response back. Yeah, talk about a great-big-black dating hole. But the thing is, what makes this worse than poor Mr. Match-Fucked-Me-Over-Loser-Dude, is that the guys I’ve been communicating with ARE real; they’re just not wanting to date moi. And how do I know this? Because these same guys then email and/or date my roommate, or my friend A or my colleague L. Clearly, we are all fishing in the same pond and clearly some people are having better luck than others. I’m just saying.

So, what exactly was wrong with my profile? For one thing, in its latest incarnation (the ‘Summer of Love’ version) I had failed to include a full body shot. Simone was like, “They think you’re fat honey. Despite the great collar bones, they think that below the waist you’re hiding something”. Gosh, who knew. But anyway, I’m not here to give tips on how to write online profiles. Clearly. No, I’m just saying that if you’ve had moments of self doubt while online dating, you are not alone. It really is a hot mess out there.

About the only vaguely useful tips about online dating that I can share with you are the following:

1. Men ALWAYS lie about their height (take 2 inches off, at least)

2. Men OFTEN lie about their weight (think The Builder)

3. Men MORE OFTEN THAN NOT lie about their age. Well, mainly the ones in the 40+ bracket. No, it’s not okay to leave your age at what it was when you first signed up 5 years ago. 44 is not 39, okay?

4. The same goes for the photos. Again, not okay.

Now, don’t get me wrong. There are great men to meet online and there are great dates to be had. But keep an open mind and be realistic. A good example is my best girl L, who got online dating last month. The two guys she’s dated so far have turned out to be real winners. The first one was suggesting a threesome the day after their first date, while guy No. 2 was all about ‘movie night’ at his place (9.5 Weeks, no less - his pick). I think she did unwittingly check the ‘Play’ box but still. She’s like, “I’m not sleeping with these men who you just know have been online fucking for forever”. Not that that’s not okay; it just depends what you’re looking for.

So for now my hopelessly flawed online profile is still up. I thought of suing for ‘humiliation and disappointment’ too but I really don’t have the time. Besides, I live in hope that there is still more online man action to come (whatever that may mean).

Happy online dating to you all.

I didn’t even realize the huge sale was happening this weekend, but after Ms. Purple told me she bought two pairs of shoes online, I did some research and  it appears Nordstrom’s is giving greater discounts than in previous sales.  I am shopper ready.  I have my items (work wear) I want to buy Calvin Klein Sheath Dress and BCBGeneration Peep Toe Booties (in black) pictured below, a date at the nail shop, and energy drinks to get me through the day.  Check out  shop.nordstrom.com.

Check out my cousin Trina as she works the pull ups in her local CrossFit.

Last week I was unable to make it to a single CrossFit class. I had meeting and functions everyday after work. Now, I realize I have to change my schedule to the 5:30 am class. I used to work out all the time before work and school, so this won’t be a problem, I just hate how your body gives out on you so early. There were many nights I was knocked out by 8pm. (I once slept through a huge party watching a PPV boxing match. Fell asleep on the couch, and woke up completely embarrassed when everyone asked me if I was OK, and I had to explain I had been up since 4:30 am.) Night life, au revoir.

The positive side of things are clothes fitting loosely and jeans I haven’t worn in 2 years now fit. The scale is only showing 8 lbs lost which is still frustrating, but at least I am seeing signs of the hard-work I have put forth.
I am also implementing no eating after 7pm policy. I have done that the last couple of days and woke up a little hungry in the middle of the night, but I have practiced it before and it works.  I am also allowing myself to have some sweets once or twice a week.  I still have some cravings and don’t want to completely deny my body.